Ponder wonder poem
I wrote this on my iphone after reading some tweets from people moaning about unimportant stuff. I hav’nt written a poem before, it just spilled out. So don’t expect much.
Hope you Enjoy it.
“I sit here Pondering the enormity of it all.
Wondering what important task should go first.
Then looking out to space and feeling very small.
It’s not like I have to walk for miles for water from a muddy hole.
No need to hunt for days on end, risking life and limb.
I get my food from a supermarket, the waste goes in the Bin.
My home is snug and warm thanks to Central Heating.
Not made of mud and straw, hot by day cold at night.
Flies that sting, Mosquitos that bring, deceases like Malaria or Denge Fever.
When I get a fever I get drugs from my doctor to make me feel better.
Not worried about my teeth or eyes, they get checked and sorted.
Being and illegal immigrant must suck when you get deported.
I don’t have any worries, my problems are small.
It’s the other folk I worry about who’ve got bugger all.
Can’t complain, can’t moan and groan, all is well in my home.
The picture is big, there’s lots to see.
Not just moaning old farts like me, who are doing fine and just don’t get it.
Wake up, look around and be thankful.
It’s not you in the hut with your baby dying of hunger.
It’s not you in the Earthquake looking for your brother.
It’s not you being shot at, poisoned or bombed. Shit, your life is better that you think, stop moaning, start living. See the world and be happy you’re alright. Stop tweeting about how your life is shite, it’s not that bad. So you have debts, your arm hurts a bit, you bleed a bit when you have a shit. Your nose is blocked, you can’t sleep through the night. Your kids need new scooters or a mountain bike.
Your car is on HP, your Mortgage is massive.
You’re doing ok, you’re here another day. It can end sooner that you think, in a blink, you’ll sink off the brink. Plink. Dead. No more. Gone. No more moaning, whining, tweeting about your aches and ills. So get up, rise up. Smile and be strong. Sing or dance to your favourite song. You are Alive more now, in this moment. More than ever before. Enjoy, love, laugh, give, share it’s the law. ” Chris P Taylor Feb 2011
Wondering what important task should go first.
Then looking out to space and feeling very small.
It’s not like I have to walk for miles for water from a muddy hole.
No need to hunt for days on end, risking life and limb.
I get my food from a supermarket, the waste goes in the Bin.
My home is snug and warm thanks to Central Heating.
Not made of mud and straw, hot by day cold at night.
Flies that sting, Mosquitos that bring, deceases like Malaria or Denge Fever.
When I get a fever I get drugs from my doctor to make me feel better.
Not worried about my teeth or eyes, they get checked and sorted.
Being and illegal immigrant must suck when you get deported.
I don’t have any worries, my problems are small.
It’s the other folk I worry about who’ve got bugger all.
Can’t complain, can’t moan and groan, all is well in my home.
The picture is big, there’s lots to see.
Not just moaning old farts like me, who are doing fine and just don’t get it.
Wake up, look around and be thankful.
It’s not you in the hut with your baby dying of hunger.
It’s not you in the Earthquake looking for your brother.
It’s not you being shot at, poisoned or bombed. Shit, your life is better that you think, stop moaning, start living. See the world and be happy you’re alright. Stop tweeting about how your life is shite, it’s not that bad. So you have debts, your arm hurts a bit, you bleed a bit when you have a shit. Your nose is blocked, you can’t sleep through the night. Your kids need new scooters or a mountain bike.
Your car is on HP, your Mortgage is massive.
You’re doing ok, you’re here another day. It can end sooner that you think, in a blink, you’ll sink off the brink. Plink. Dead. No more. Gone. No more moaning, whining, tweeting about your aches and ills. So get up, rise up. Smile and be strong. Sing or dance to your favourite song. You are Alive more now, in this moment. More than ever before. Enjoy, love, laugh, give, share it’s the law. ” Chris P Taylor Feb 2011
What Happened at the Movies at Kids AM
Kids AM at VUE Cinemas used to be a great way to take all the kids to the Movies on a wet Saturday morning.
First come first served for Only 95p each!
You’d have to get there before 10am for a 10.30am Start or you’d end up sitting right at the front on the beanbags and getting a stiff neck.
We’d watch people coming in at 10.15am and it would be a mad rush to get the last seats.
There would be groups of kids who had made the outing themselves to see a movie before shopping at the Mall with their spending money, probably grabbing a 99p burger too.
Good fun and affordable.
It was great, we’ve been loads of times and took our friends kids too, proper outing to the movies that was affordable
(as long as you stayed away from the Snacks that are priced as if we were at the last motorway services for a thousand miles) Don’t get me started about the overpriced VIP Seating, uncomfortable and cold leather seats that take up more room than normal seats and so seat less people for more money. What Genius thought that one up. Yes, they are always the last to be sold, at a premium and whoever sits in them does so and grumbles. Anyway, over the last few weeks, Something odd happened, we’d get there early & it would be sold out. Turns out people are Booking online & paying the £0.70p Per Ticket booking fee. If there is four of you, that’s £2.80 extra. OK, I agree that is still very cheap for a movie, but this is what annoys me: What about that kids who want to go to the movie with their friends and have a Saturday movie without Grownups pestering them? As a kid, going to the Movies myself was a very big thing for me and the thought of asking a grown up to Book online and pay nearly double the ticket price is totally ruining the idea of KIDS AM. (Lookout, I’m about to sound like a granddad: We’d pay 50p get two movies and a disco. Plus the popcorn was actually made on the premises. Can you believe they now buy them by the binliner) Kids AM is supposed to be for Kids. One adult taking as many kids as possible, or just kids to a movie. I’ve seen groups of 3 adults and 1 kid. Come on VUE, this is supposed to be FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.
Booking online takes the fun out of it. We’d say if we couldn’t be there before 10am there was no point in going. Now, there’s just No Point.
(as long as you stayed away from the Snacks that are priced as if we were at the last motorway services for a thousand miles) Don’t get me started about the overpriced VIP Seating, uncomfortable and cold leather seats that take up more room than normal seats and so seat less people for more money. What Genius thought that one up. Yes, they are always the last to be sold, at a premium and whoever sits in them does so and grumbles. Anyway, over the last few weeks, Something odd happened, we’d get there early & it would be sold out. Turns out people are Booking online & paying the £0.70p Per Ticket booking fee. If there is four of you, that’s £2.80 extra. OK, I agree that is still very cheap for a movie, but this is what annoys me: What about that kids who want to go to the movie with their friends and have a Saturday movie without Grownups pestering them? As a kid, going to the Movies myself was a very big thing for me and the thought of asking a grown up to Book online and pay nearly double the ticket price is totally ruining the idea of KIDS AM. (Lookout, I’m about to sound like a granddad: We’d pay 50p get two movies and a disco. Plus the popcorn was actually made on the premises. Can you believe they now buy them by the binliner) Kids AM is supposed to be for Kids. One adult taking as many kids as possible, or just kids to a movie. I’ve seen groups of 3 adults and 1 kid. Come on VUE, this is supposed to be FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.
Booking online takes the fun out of it. We’d say if we couldn’t be there before 10am there was no point in going. Now, there’s just No Point.
Poll – Am I a Twat?
Please help me out with this Quick poll: Here’s what happened, then please tell me what you think.
I was at the swimming baths yesterday at my daughters swim party. I wasn’t swimming, I was sat on the benches by the grubby pool waiting for her and her friends to come out. The lifeguard approached me and pointed to a sign, I said “please don’t point to a sign, if you need to tell me something, please say it to me” He told me I shouldn’t be wearing shoes for health and safety reasons and would I put my subway sandwich away. Oh, sorry, I need my shoes on. I said “my eczema doesn’t allow me in to swimming pools this time of year”
The lifeguard was changing shift and got me blue bags to put on my feet, so I didn’t have to get my feet wet. I couldn’t argue about the sandwich!
So I got my iPhone out to read a book I’m studying. 5 mins later, The new lifeguard came over and pointed to a sign on the wall that said “No cameras” I asked him “can I help you?” he said “is that a camera phone?” I said “yes and I’m reading a book on it” he told me to put it away and I said “no, I’m reading a book.”
“you’re not allowed to use them in here” “can i ask you a question? Do you have to be a Nazi to work here?” and the young lifeguard he asked “what do you mean? what’s a Nazi?” I said “Someone who reads learns about things like that.
If you want me to put it away you’ll have to get your manager to ask me, I’m not using the camera, I’m reading a book” He left me alone and got back to his job of watching the kids and making sure they didn’t drown. OK. Here’s the poll, just comment on my facebook page please: 1/ What’s your opinion of me using the word Nazi as meaning “someone who is blindly following orders at the detriment of others”? 2/ Can you believe that he didn’t know what it meant? Or take offence? 3/ am I just a miserable twat? Thanks folks! Just wondering
“you’re not allowed to use them in here” “can i ask you a question? Do you have to be a Nazi to work here?” and the young lifeguard he asked “what do you mean? what’s a Nazi?” I said “Someone who reads learns about things like that.
If you want me to put it away you’ll have to get your manager to ask me, I’m not using the camera, I’m reading a book” He left me alone and got back to his job of watching the kids and making sure they didn’t drown. OK. Here’s the poll, just comment on my facebook page please: 1/ What’s your opinion of me using the word Nazi as meaning “someone who is blindly following orders at the detriment of others”? 2/ Can you believe that he didn’t know what it meant? Or take offence? 3/ am I just a miserable twat? Thanks folks! Just wondering
MC Xander ‘Spaceship Earth’
Big Respect to DubFX for sharing this with me. So good to hear more vocal and lyrical talent going on.
Check out this video on YouTube:
9th April 2011 – The Full Monty
Please come and see the show at lister hall in Dursley, it’s for charity.
You’ll get an amazing band, a comedy hypnotist show and naked men.
http://www.dursleyfullmonty.co.uk/#content
Chris Taylor (Doc)
http://GlowGadgets.com
+447976884254
@glowgadgets
http://GlowGadgets.com
+447976884254
@glowgadgets
Learn Hypnosis from a Self Proclaimed Master.
Attention mind Freaks.
I will be starting an amazing new course for anyone who wants to learn hypnosis and mind control, I shall entitle it:
“How to be a friendly twat”.
Only 537 places available for this amazing 3.25 minute lesson to be held at the Ramadadada Inn, Cairo. Date to be arranged. Probably after the weekend.
Learn the following:
“Telling people what to do”
“Being Smug”
“How to bullshit like a pro” “instant inductions with root vegetables”
And my personal favourite “cuntwattrification” Also “staring at your palms” may be included if we can get the razors. With useful insights into:
“Crowd control” with General Abdul Muhawke of the Egyptian Armed Forces. Book your place within this lifetime and get the recycled pamphlet “Well, everyone else is selling out, why not me” absolutely free. — Update— Places have now sold out, loser. Next course will be held for a million Egyptian pounds in Lowerstoft, some time in May. Sign up for my newsletter and get the free ebooks “Street Hypnosis for the Socially Inept” and “I didn’t mean that to happen: excuses by suits”
—— If you want a comedy hypnotist for your event or party, call Chris Doc Strange. If you don’t sound like a mental, and you have money, he might help you make it a success. Http://Chrisdocstrange.com “He puts the Fun in FundaMental”
“Telling people what to do”
“Being Smug”
“How to bullshit like a pro” “instant inductions with root vegetables”
And my personal favourite “cuntwattrification” Also “staring at your palms” may be included if we can get the razors. With useful insights into:
“Crowd control” with General Abdul Muhawke of the Egyptian Armed Forces. Book your place within this lifetime and get the recycled pamphlet “Well, everyone else is selling out, why not me” absolutely free. — Update— Places have now sold out, loser. Next course will be held for a million Egyptian pounds in Lowerstoft, some time in May. Sign up for my newsletter and get the free ebooks “Street Hypnosis for the Socially Inept” and “I didn’t mean that to happen: excuses by suits”
—— If you want a comedy hypnotist for your event or party, call Chris Doc Strange. If you don’t sound like a mental, and you have money, he might help you make it a success. Http://Chrisdocstrange.com “He puts the Fun in FundaMental”
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